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What’s in the box? Inside the 2023 Oscars giftbag

What’s in the box? 

Granted, after Sunday night the headlines will be filled to the brim with the winners and losers of the 95th Academy Awards. I’m more interested in what will be filling the infamous Oscars giftbag this year.

If you aren’t aware of it, every year the Oscars gives away a giftbag to the acting and directing nominees with some of the most jaw-dropping and egregious contents you’ve ever heard.

This year’s giftbag contents are worth around $126,000 (approx. €120,000). 

Yes, you read that right. It only goes to the acting and directing nominees, but that’s still 25 different nominees. It’s unclear whether directing nominee duo The Daniels (Everything Everywhere All At Once) will receive one giftbag or two… Still, with at least 25 likely recipients, that means the total value of the swag bag is $3,150,000 (nearly €3 million).

In fairness to the Academy, they don’t pay for the hamper. Instead, it’s gifted by the marketing company Distinctive Assets who offer celebrity placement and branding opportunities within the entertainment industry.

The contents of this year’s bag are as eyewatering as the price.

Some of the highest figure gifts include the opportunity to stay in luxury vacation homes in rural Ottawa, with use of the 10-acre property’s sports car thrown in. Or you can jet off to the volcanic island Ischia, Campania in Italy for a relaxing break.

If you want something a bit more permanent than just a holiday, there’s a plot of land in Australia on offer. 

Yep, the 25 nominees will wake up on Monday morning owning a bit of Australia.

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If you’ve ever wondered how your favourite film stars’ looks remain young as the years go by, it’s likely something to do with the wellness and beauty products gifted to them in the bag. 

Among Miage skincare products, Ariadne Athens Skin Wellness bath ritual sets, C60 Purple Power edible massage oil… There’s also Art Lipo body sculpting, facial rejuvenation procedures from Dr. Konstantin Vasyukevich, and Bauman Medical hair restoration services.

Dig deeper and there are chocolates and tea sets aplenty to keep even the most shrewd nominee pleased. Is that Colin Farrell sneaking off with Michelle Yeoh’s Havaianas luggage and flip-flop set?

What’s in it for the brands giving away these gifts, you may ask. 

The involved brands pay $4,000 to be included in the hamper, even though the nominees aren’t obligated to promote or even take home any of the items.

You may be heartened to know that this year’s giftbag is almost meagre in comparison to the ones of past ceremonies.

The most expensive giftbag was for the 2016 Oscars, valued at $232,000 (approx. €220,000). That’s over $100k more than this year’s, not even accounting for inflation.

Included in the 2016 hamper were incredible holiday opportunities from a 15-day private walking tour of Japan, a 10-day Israel trip, and stays in Italy and California.

Among the cosmetic offerings, 2016 nominees could also avail themselves of $5K worth of plastic surgery from a New York surgeon, a vampire breast lift work nearly $2,000 and a $6 chapstick. A $250 vibrator was also included. 

Even Oscar nominee orgasms are more expensive than yours.

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